Do You Have a Self-Care Squad?

Do you remember when you first learned to ride a bike? You probably didn’t just hop on and start riding it right? It took practice and dedication but once you found your rhythm it just got easier didn’t it? It’s the same thing with self-care. If you haven’t been doing it very well for a while you build on the basics until you’re peddling at a pace that’s right and works for you.

As I see it there are a few reasons why self-care doesn’t happen.  You find excuses not to make time for it, you don’t want to change your patterns/habits and or you just can’t put yourself first. But let’s pretend that your only job was to take care of yourself and that nothing else mattered. Could you do it? Would you do it? Could you put everything else aside and clear your path so that you could start improving how you look and feel? Could you dig deep within and find the motivation to get out of the space you’re currently in and envision a place you’d like to be instead? Did you know that you’ll have greater success when you surround yourself with individuals who want to see you succeed? It’s like your own Cheerleading Squad. These individuals will pump you up when you need support and encourage you on your journey. When you don’t know if you can fully commit to making the changes you know you need to make go out and find a team that can support you.

I can’t help to think of a close friend of mine who lost half her body weight in just over a year. She went from 350 pounds to 175 pounds. Our daughters played on the same soccer team and I’ll never forget the first time she exercised during her first week of her new journey.  My friend asked me to walk with her during the girl’s practice. It was clear that every step was a struggle for her.  But I couldn’t help to feel pride for two reasons, to be asked to be part of her journey and to see someone pull strength from within to want to turn her life around.   I knew that she needed encouragement and support and I knew that she was willing herself to get through that workout. I was filled with pride to be there from day one. Of course it wasn’t easy for her but day by day she built upon a foundation of her inner strength, and every day that she worked at taking better care of herself she became more confident that she could keep going and more confident in her looks and body. It was incredible to be part of her transformation and to support her as she turned over a whole new leaf. Do you know what she says motivated her to keep going every day? The support system she created around herself that would allow her to propel forward even when she didn’t feel like she could. She openly shared her doubts and fears with people she knew would support and encourage her.  She allowed these individuals to become the voices of motivation within her head, and when she became strong and confident enough she replaced their voices with her own. She learned who to listen to, who to emulate and who to recruit as teammates of her Self-Care Squad. Do you have a team of people in your life that support you? Can you see the value in creating one?

This week’s assignment:

Look at the individuals in your life and look closely at them. Are they building you up or bringing you down? Are they encouraging you to become a healthier, more fit and confident person? Are they people you can call upon to help you with improving your self-care? You don’t have to replace those who aren’t you just need to listen more to those who are helping you on your journey to greater self-care.  This week make a list of 5 people who you know are there for you and support you. Write down their names, telephone numbers and emails. Now contact the one who lives closest to you and make a date to exercise together. Put it on the calendar and rain or shine you go. If for some reason your friend can’t make it then you go anyway. Just start building on this. Little by little it will get easier and you’ll gain more confidence in yourself.

Have you got a Self-Care Squad in place? Has it helped when you’ve surrounded yourself with people who support what you’re trying to do?

I’d love to hear from you. Pop over to either my blog http://jeanniespiro.com/blog or Facebook page: http://facebook.com/skinnyjeanscoach and tell me how you’re doing to surround yourself with people who can support your self-care success!

Time Management Lowers Stress

Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. ~ Will Rogers
time-management

In today’s world we tend to overload our schedules and rush from one event to the next. Time management is an effective way to lower stress. Try taking a few minutes each hour to clear your thoughts. Take several relaxing deep breaths, shake out muscle tension, and align your actions to your daily goals.

Placing small reminders throughout your day will make this process a habit. Once the habit is formed you will notice; focus and concentration improvement, less sore muscle and tension pain, and goal achievement easier. Not to mention a positive mindset from the control you gain over stress.

If you find this technique beneficial, check out  Stress Release Reminders, it has become my passion to help others by reminding them to take control of their schedules.

Here is a list of helpful time management techniques to lower stress:

  • Set goals Daily goals, weekly goals, monthly goals, yearly goals, and lifetime goals should be pondered over and written down. Aligning yourself each day to move forward toward your lifetime goals will keep you on track & stress levels lowered. If we remind ourselves often of our goals, detours can be corrected quickly or if necessary changed to accommodate the new path. Check out Stress Release Reminders custom 5 minute journal technique for goal setting.
  • Learn to say “No” There is 24 hours in each day and this will never change. So when you have prioritized your time and do not have extra time, it is ok to say no. Once you have decided to say no, do not go back and second guess your decision.
  • Priorities your tasks Do not multi task. Focus on one task at a time so you do not have to go back and redo your work.
  • Delegate tasks to others Most people believe they are the only one who can do a job correctly. If you are thorough in your instructions than anyone can help you get your to do list done.
  • Start early finish early There is a great sense of pride when you complete a task early. So don’t put things off to the last-minute. Procrastination is an urgency that can be avoided.
  • Don’t compare yourself to others Comparing yourself to others will only cause stress. If the person is faster you will feel inferior. If the person is slower you will feel as if you are pulling the weight of the task. Either way it is a waste of your time and your stress.
  • Don’t sweat the small stuff Complications will happen while achieving goals or tasks. Remind yourself of the end result and focus on the most efficient way to the finish line.

I Want It NOW

When I was a kid, my birthday excursion each year was a trip to Disneyland.  This was back-in-the-day when Disneyland was not only fun, but not overly crowded.  It was also when they sold tickets that were labeled “A” through “E,” with the “E-ticket” being for the better rides, like the Matterhorn. The expression “E-ticket Ride” came directly from those early Disneyland tickets.  Later, as we all know, Disneyland and all amusement parks switched to a single admission entrance fee.

I couldn’t sleep the night before we went to Disneyland. I was too excited. The drive to Anaheim from our house was a good hour long, though it felt like an eternity due to my eagerness.  Often I brought a friend or two and we’d be eagerly discussing which ride we’d go on first.  As the tickets were limited, we had to figure this out since there wasn’t yet an all-inclusive ticket.  My dad was always the driver and he was heroically patient with my non-stop “Are we there yets.”  There were signposts that I remember distinctly, in which my dad would say we were getting close — one being an old water tower which signaled that we were near.

When we arrived at Disneyland, my excitement and adrenaline were at full throttle and I couldn’t wait to race to our first choice of ride.  As far as I was concerned, in that heightened state, my mom and dad were moving like snails.  Any line for the tickets felt interminable and by the time we finally went through the turnstiles, if it were okay with my parents, I would run to the first ride with my friends.  I couldn’t wait another minute.  Walking was out of the question. I wanted it now!

Now that I’m a few decades older, most everyone that knows me, knows that I’m not much different from that eager-beaver kid. I still remember running to The Tiki Tiki Room, the Autorama, or the Matterhorn.  When we’d get to the front of the line of that first ride, we’d run to the sled, the seat, the car, and quickly strap in.  This was heaven for this pre-teen.

I’ve learned to moderate my impatience but it’s still always there when I’m eager to do something.  Writing my book and waiting for its publication was actually a relatively quick process, but I was bugging my “team” regularly with more, “Are we there yets.”  I know that my eagerness and impatience has helped me in many circumstances and also, many times, made those that work or live with me weary.

The concept of “delayed gratification” has been one that I’ve tried to teach my own sons while, at the same time, constantly trying to moderate my hyper impatience.  Things like communication, in so many forms these days, require no delay whatsoever.  E-mail, texting, chatting, Twitter, and most everything on the Internet is instant.  It seems so quaint to reflect on how we used to correspond with someone via postal mail and actually wait and be eager for a reply letter.  I had pen pals when I was my boys’ ages.  Whatever the modern equivalent may be, it doesn’t require anything but computer and Internet access to have immediate exchanges of “letters” or even video-communication literally anywhere in the world.

Sure, this is largely wonderful but much of life still can’t be focused into a text or an e-mail.  It still takes four or so years to get a B.A. or B.S. from college.  It still takes three years for law school and much longer to become a doctor.  So, some forms of “delayed gratification” are truly exactly the same or, ironically, even slower as the average time it takes to get a bachelor’s degree has increased during my lifetime to between four and five years.  I got mine in three years, while four was considered quite the norm in the seventies. 

The other statistic that completely blows my mind is the one that I read recently that college grads are returning to live at the home of their parents. According to a survey from Twentysomething, Inc., 85 percent of college graduates will return home because they can’t find a job. I didn’t know a single friend who returned home for anything more than a meal, Thanksgiving, an anniversary, etc. 

The “I want it now” concept is a personal character trait. It is also the method of instant communication for everyone today. But, it sure isn’t the quick path to independence for our college grads, let alone those high school grads that didn’t go to college.  What is the answer?  How much is tied to our poor economy, I don’t know.  But, as a parent and married to a woman who is step-mom to my boys, she and I hope this doesn’t last! 

We may all still “want it now” and much of what we want is available oh so quickly, but the enduring things in life may still require a little patience. 

I’m not sure I can wait, though…

Doing Everything Right Isn’t Getting Me Results

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Several months ago one of my clients made the above statement in a fit of disgust. She actually felt that all of her efforts to lose weight weren’t working. When she told me what was going on I soon realized that she thought she was doing everything “right” but in reality she’d forgotten several of the basic things I’d shown her. What were those things? I’ll get to that in a minute.  First, let me paint the picture of this woman for you.

She’s a Mom Entrepreneur with a significant amount of stress in her life. She originally came to me to lose weight but after I heard her talk about her life and schedule I soon realized that there were some things that were contributing to why she was having a hard time losing weight. It was clear that she had a stressful and busy life.  A fairly optimistic person she was feeling beaten by the fact that she couldn’t lose the weight and reclaim her appearance.  She was embarrassed about her looks, not wanting anyone to see her body in pictures she’d only get pictures of her from the shoulder up.   Over the years, the once ten pounds she’d gain and lose turned into thirty-five and at age 41 her every other year diet program wasn’t working anymore. She counted points, added the fiber, drank the water but NO LUCK. She came to me telling me she wanted to try something new.

Our work began the usual way with her trying to make all of the recommended changes I’d suggested.  Within a week she’d emailed me to tell me that there was a shift in energy and optimism.  A month went by and the weight shifted for the better. She was thrilled! But then another month went by and my once happy, weight losing client hit a wall. Not just a wall in her weight but one in her life. She hit a plateau and began to panic and when we had our next session that’s when I realized what she’d forgotten. You see my theory is that the pace of our lives and the stress that we endure on a regular basis directly relates to our weight.  As soon as life gets too busy or stressful the time to devote to planning meals, cooking them and chewing what you eat occurs less often. You start making excuses to get exercise in, not drinking water or to go to bed at a regular time. Life gets in the way, the overwhelm of life disrupts the routine you were just establishing and the weight stops coming off. My client came to me feeling that her great efforts were slipping away. Although we’d covered it all before, I spent the entire next three sessions reminding her of the basic things to do to get her routine and life back in balance.  In doing the work I do I’ve come to realize that it’s got to be a whole life approach. You can’t just change one area (such as eating better) you often need to work on several at the same time. I often need to remind my clients that it’s about choices, not necessarily in what you’re eating but in what you are doing that is causing your overwhelm.

The great news for my client was once we got her back on the right path she reversed the minor weight gain and six months later she lost all thirty-five pounds.  The even better news is that she feels like she’s got a grip on her life again and to me I think you can deal with anything once you have optimism in your life again.

Have you ever hit a plateau and wondered if it could be more than just the food you were eating that was causing the plateau?

The Ultimate Mama Pajama Party 2011

Mama Pajama Party, Long Beach, CA

Be Inspired. Be Happy. Get Silly in your PJs!


It’s not your typical pajama party!  Because…. It’s just for MOMS!!

If you want a night out to relax, laugh A LOT and get inspired… Be sure to attend the biggest PJ Event for Moms in Long Beach!

Date: Friday, July 29, 2011
Time: 8:00 pm to 12:00 am


CLICK HERE FOR THE DETAILS!

American History of Father’s Day

He didn’t tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.  ~Clarence Budington Kelland

fathers- day

There is a little confusion to when the first Father’s Day took place. According to Wikipedia.org the first celebration was held on July 5, 1908 in Fairmont, West Virginia to honor the lives of 210 men who died in a mining accident. The observation was not registered as a holiday and deemed unsuccessful.

A woman named Sonoma Smart Dodd of Spokane, Washington continued the effort to make Father’s Day a National holiday. Smart lost her mother at the age of 16 while giving birth to her sister. They were raised by their father, William Smart, a Civil War veteran. Mother’s Day was growing in popularity and she believed fathers deserved a day similar to Mother’s Day.

Reverend Dr. Conrad Bluhm, her pastor at Old Centenary Presbyterian Church,  and the Spokane YMCA joined the efforts of Smart. On June 19, 1910, 2 years after the celebration in Fairmont West Virginia, a recognized celebration of father’s Day took place. Members of the YMCA gathered at the church wearing roses; red roses were to honor living fathers, and white roses honored the deceased. Dodd delivered gifts to fathers at home who were unable to attend the celebration.

Father’s Day was growing popular, but not in the way intended by Smart. The holiday was a joke to many people while Mother’s Day was increasing in popularity and enthusiasm. It took many years for Father’s Day to be taken seriously and in 1966, President Lyndon B. Johnson issued the first presidential proclamation honoring fathers, designating the third Sunday in June as Father’s Day.

Fairmont is now promoted as the “Home of the First Father’s Day Service”

Visit Stress Release Reminders and give the gift of less stress to all the fathers in your life. Or visit Stress Release Reminders on Facebook to receive once a day motivation quotes, images, or challenges.

Father’s Day June 2011 – Whatever Happened to Ward Cleaver?

june-and-ward-cleaver

When I grew up, there were wonderful dads that were the staple of television.  These TV dads were an ideal that we all realized was a bit too perfect, but these dads (and moms, for that matter), made us feel good. I liked Ward Cleaver (Hugh Beaumont on “Leave It To Beaver”).  I liked Steven Keaton (Michael Gross on “Family Ties”).

Carroll O’Connor broke precedent dramatically with his portrayal of Archie Bunker in “All In the Family,” but under his occasionally crass, racist, and sexist blue-collar worker there was still a loving and caring father! And, later on, everyone loved Cliff Huxtable, played by Bill Cosby on the long-running hit show that bore his name.  Bill Cosby’s “Dad” was named the number one TV dad of all-time by TIME magazine!

These dads no longer exist in the public cultural universe.  Instead, Homer Simpson, Al Bundy, and Tony Soprano replaced them. Are these really the best parents that Hollywood can conjure up?  Obviously not, since TV moms still mostly are portrayed with a modicum of respect.  For that matter, Hollywood seems to relish any family configuration that is non-traditional.

Charlie Sheen graced just such a show in which one dad was portrayed as somewhat inept while the other male lead was just a goof ball, to put it kindly.  Then, we got the pleasure of watching the real-life actor, who actually did have kids, have a meltdown in front of us in a most tragic, sad, and pathetic fashion.  How that one will turn out is anyone’s guess but I’d wager “Not Good!”

Frankly, I miss “Father Knows Best” and “My Three Sons.”  Quick, tap your shoe and hum the theme song from that classic starring Fred MacMurray!  I also miss Ben Cartwright, the true patriarch dad on “Bonanza,” played forever, it seemed at the time, by Lorne Greene.

In the foreword to my book, “A Dad’s Point-of-View: We ARE Half the Equation” , noted radio show host and renowned cultural and movie critic, Michael Medved, wrote:

“In the last two generations, the image of fathers in American popular culture has suffered a sad decline from the Andy Hardy films and the “Father Knows Best” TV show to Homer Simpson and “The Family Guy.”  Instead of the wise, kind, firm head-of-household depicted so lovingly in the past, the stereotypical dad of today has become quite literally a cartoon.  At the same time that sociologists tell us that children across the country suffer from growing up in fatherless households, the trendy vision of the doofus dad has undermined paternal authority even in homes where a father may be physically present.”

I believe Michael Medved, who knows what he’s talking about and knows Hollywood history intimately, hit the nail right on the head.  This development is not good.  Given how many children suffer from the lack of a dad in their lives, they now suffer further with few good male role models in the public sphere or in popular culture.

Much of rap and hip-hop music portrays men as slightly less of a role model than Ward Cleaver, to put it kindly.  Are our sports stars, sporting tattoos all over their bodies, and generally behaving like boors, really the inspiration we’d like for our young boys (or girls)?  Is Paris Hilton and her infamous “leaked” sex video teaching our young girls how to be “a lady?”  Heck, who even uses the word “lady” anymore?

I think these changes in popular culture have a devastating impact on our children.  I believe that these public figures and fictional characters so prevalent in our culture today undermine the very values most parents struggle to instill in their boys and girls.  I don’t like it one bit!

As I write this, I realize that we no longer even have such television dramas like “Touched By An Angel,” “The Waltons,” or “Little House On the Prairie.”  Instead, we have dramas strewn with violence, bad language (nearly every drama show on Cable), gratuitous nudity and sexual situations, without a perfectly coiffed, apron wearing, pearls around her neck Barbara Billingsley in sight!  For those that don’t remember, Ms. Billingsley portrayed “the Beaver’s” mom and Ward Cleaver’s loving, stay-at-home-housewife, June Cleaver.

June Cleaver would today be the butt of jokes on “Saturday Night Live” or “The Jon Stewart Show.”  Can you even imagine any television or movie mom that didn’t work outside of the home, let alone wore an apron and pearls? That would be heresy, by Hollywood’s standards. As a totally unrelated aside, my late mother, also “June,” was my “June Cleaver.”

This column and any number of us that wish for better public and fictional role models for our children will not likely result in much change. It is therefore even more important that parents be the role models for their children. This is one of my mantras. Parents must be their kid’s best role models.  And, even more so, given that we have to work extra hard to persuade our kids that Charlie Sheen, Paris Hilton, or Homer Simpson are really not cool!

The Beginner’s Guide To Fitness

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Remember that feeling of your first day of school, your first day at a new job, or showing up to a party not knowing anyone? Well, beginning a new exercise routine can feel similar.  Whether you are going to the gym for the first time, taking an exercise class, doing Wii in your family room, or even walking around the neighborhood, it can feel a little intimidating.

 
Not to worry! Here is a guide for you newbie exercisers or those of you who are trying something different. Whether you are looking to increase endurance, lose some weight, build muscle, or just get healthy, it all starts with a goal and a plan.

Getting Healthy: Aerobics vs. Anaerobic

Aerobic training, or cardio, is any type of exercise that occurs while the body is continually using oxygen. Think running, biking, walking, and at the gym this translates to the treadmill, elliptical, stationary bike, or aerobics class. These are the exercises that make you huff and puff and really get your heart pumping.

Anaerobic training is any type of exercise that requires a rapid burst of energy. With anaerobic exercise, the body creates energy without oxygen, and no, this doesn’t mean we stop breathing. This is because the burst of activity is short and sweet (okay, sometimes not so sweet), and the oxygen from the lungs doesn’t have time to reach the muscles. Think about exercises that cause that grunt and groan where the burst of energy lasts less than 60 seconds, like weight lifting, sprinting, jumping or any rapid burst of activity

The best recipe for increasing endurance and improving general health is a dash of aerobic training and a pinch of anaerobic exercises.


Building Strength and Toning Muscles: Resistance Training

Tapping into that layer upon layer of dormant muscle takes a different kind of approach. The most powerful muscle fibers are also those that grow the most. The best way to stimulate growth is by lifting weights. Lifting weights, also called resistance training, equals bigger muscles. Look around the gym. There are usually not any buffbarbies or Arnolds in a Zumba class. They are all pumping the iron.

The three most important words to remember for muscle building are resistance, resistance, resistance.
Shedding The Plump: The Perfect Mix

The best exercises for losing weight will contain a cardio aspect and a toning aspect. Things like rowing, aerobics class, spinning class or stationary bike, and the elliptical.  Walk/running in the neighborhood or run/sprinting is a great alternative too. These exercises work the muscles and the heart, a duo that makes it easier to leave those pounds behind. Throw in a few weight lifting exercises, and you have a well-rounded routine.

Starting that journey toward health, fitness, and well-being can be scary, but there is something for everyone, and it just takes a little time to figure out what works best for your time schedule and your goals. The best part is that just like going to a new school or starting a new job, you feel at ease before you know it and friends and fun ensue. So get going.

What Does Lack of Self-Care Cost?

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As a young professional woman it never crossed my mind that one day not taking care of myself would become a problem. Hey, I figured I’m young I can sort of eat well, sort of sleep well (catch up on lost sleep on the weekends) and have a few drinks here and there. I was naive but who isn’t when they’re young?

Time passed, a stressful corporate job, two kids and trying to find perfection in all I was doing somehow I lost sight that maybe I should take better care of myself. With various responsibilities at work and home it was easy to put my needs last on the list. I’ve always been an amazing caretaker particularly of everyone else but me.

There was a time in my life that I never stopped. I didn’t sit down except when I was driving or working and even while working I was never relaxed.  As a busy working professional woman with the pressures of deadlines, financially contributing to my family and being a caretaker I stopped doing all the necessary things to take care of myself.

It happens to the best of us, working women who are high life and career achievers. We just want it all. On the path to getting it we often find it tough to balance everything that’s coming at us. What tends to go is our personal self care. First the exercise, then the food, then the clothing, then the makeup, then the organization (or lack there of) and then the routine check-ups and doctors appointments. How do I know? It happened to me. I became less of a priority even though my health and well-being was essential for my financial future and role in my family.

It’s easy to let things slide especially when you’re busy. If you’re at the point where you’re teetering on the edge of not taking care of yourself well and it’s beginning to surface then now is a good time to put yourself back in charge of your self-care. Simple steps with inner motivation will get you where you need to be. If you’re a little further than that then I encourage you to get help. Lack of self care can cost you your health, finances, family and friends.

Do you really want to jeopardize any or all of them?

Don’t use you’re too busy as an excuse, find a way to start taking action today. Build self-care into your day regularly and you’ll be able to handle more of what life throws at you.

What prevents you from being able to put your self- care first?

Time-Outs, Not Just For Children

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In order for you to be more productive and for your mind to be at its top performance, you must allow yourself to take time out at least once every hour. It is vital to your health and well-being. It regenerates your energy level and allows you to think more clearly.

The above statement is a well-known fact. How often do you really do it?

Placing small reminders is the best way to practice the necessary time-out each hour. This technique is why I started Stress Release Reminders. I want to help others stay positive and focus on their health.

Most stress encountered during the day are meaningless moments not worthy of your time. If the stress does not bring you closer to your goals, then forget it, and move on.

Below is a list of activities to practice during your time-outs.

  • Deep Breathing exercise - Counting your breath and focusing on belly button breathing is a quick way to quiet your mind from the busy day. (belly button breathing indicates proper inhaling and exhaling when you can see your belly button rise and lower.)
  • Affirmation technique – Many psychologists recommend affirming “I am quiet” over and over to yourself. I have found the best way to achieve maximum benefit is to take a deep breath in while to myself, repeat “I am,” then exhale to myself “quiet.” It will force you to focus on deep breathing and allow the proper oxygen in to think more clearly.
  • Self message – Tension can be harmful to both your cardiovascular and skeletal system. The neck, face, and hands are quickly accessible and achieve great benefits of lowering stress. Closing your eyes to focus better on the benefit will help to achieve a proper time-out.
  • Stretch –  The key to a successful stretch is to breathe through the entire stretch. Do not strain or bounce the muscle. While holding your stretch, take a deep breath, on the exhale, feel your body stretch a little more. 15 seconds is the minimal time for a proper stretch, but try to hold longer.
  • Reflection – Writing is a great way to slow down your mind. The Stress Release Remindersjournal technique is a wonderful way to journal, specially with the busy lifestyle we all seem to think we have. Each page repeats an insert area for your daily goal, daily affirmation, and a few lines to write your favorite moments. It allows you to easily go back and view your past accomplishments.

Finding inspiration can be an easy task when you know where to look. Stress Release Reminders posts once a day motivational quotes, images, challenges, or links on Facebook which will also remind you to take the necessary “Me Time” and it’s all FREE.