Encourage Fitness – Do As I Say and As I DO

It’s never too late to start a healthy habit, especially with kids.

Parents influence kids every day with words and actions, and when mom and dad regularly encourage kids to be active, they help kids to appreciate fitness and have fun along the way.

Teaching practical life skills is one of the many roles that parents have. Things like how to brush teeth, how to tell time, how to tie shoes, and research now suggests that another one to add to the list is how to be healthy and active.

It’s never too late to start a healthy habit, especially with kids. Kids like to move, and though it is highly unlikely that a child goes from couch potato to Olympian, there are several ways parents can influence their children to exercise.

While verbal encouragement or logistical support, such as driving kids to soccer practice, is important, parents’ attitudes about health and fitness and their own patterns of physical activity are equally as important, since kids often follow by example.

Being active together has shown to have a significant impact on how kids view exercise, but it often goes down as a child’s age goes up. Younger children are more likely to want to spend time being active with their parents than teenagers, so there may be a window of opportunity to use it before losing it when it comes to co-activity.

And even though the sphere of influence on kids can be far and wide from friends to teachers to Sponge Bob, few are as direct and important as parents .

Children are well known for their contrary nature. Tell them to do something, and quite often they will do the opposite. So trying to force children to exercise may not be the best strategy.

Every parent has his or her way of approaching life lessons, but the idea with fitness is to get children to appreciate being active, and have a little fun along the way. “Because I said so” may work for putting the dishes away, but encouragement, celebrating small victories, and doing things together can be effective ways to motivate kids to get fit and stay active. And no child wants their brain to turn to mush because of too much television.

Whether is it sports, riding bikes, a martial arts class, or walking the dog every night, it is important to consistently present each opportunity in a positive light. It may take a bit of time and patience, but when children find the fun in being active, fitness can become a part of everyday life.

When kids are active at a young age, the habit can last throughout their lifetime, and influencing kids to be active at an early age is no different than teaching them the golden rule or respecting their elders. So it’s time to put fitness right up there with teaching children how to ride a bike and that there’s no hiding a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.

Mom, I Have a Project Due Tomorrow!

Homework trouble

It’s Sunday night and you are looking forward to relaxing after a busy weekend when your kid comes rushing into the room, “I have a project due tomorrow and I can’t find my instructions. Do we have any poster board? Where are my markers?” And the race begins…

So often I get calls from parents who just don’t understand why their child can’t be organized, why they can’t plan ahead and it takes them hours to do homework. Bottom line is this, executive skills, such as organization, planning and time management are not fully developed until adulthood. Add to that, whatever is taught in school is inconsistent from teacher to teacher and is explained based on how each teacher thinks and learns. Organizing isn’t “one size fits all”. Creating systems that are tailored to your child’s thinking and learning style will make it easier for them to get and stay organized. In return, their organization will be one less stress in your life!

The brain is naturally divided into four areas, with each one performing a specific function, and everyone comes into this world with an advantage in one of these areas. We can see this by looking at the different ways kids act, react and interact with their world. For example, some kids want to do things themselves and excel at finishing what they start. Other kids may be so drawn to connecting with their friends that relationships triumph over most everything else. Then there are the kids who seem to have their heads in the clouds all the time, day dreaming about their next big idea. Finally there are the kids that show no reserve when it comes to telling others what to do. Identifying your child’s natural thinking style is the first step in creating organizational systems that provide a feeling of safety, support and confidence because they come so easy to them! It can also provide great insight as to why you and your child might see things so differently when it comes to organization.

Another important aspect is how your child learns. This is not only significant when it comes to teaching organization, or anything else for that matter, but it is a huge plus when helping your child study. There are three major ways people learn: visually (by seeing), auditorily (by hearing) and kinesthetically (by doing). Flash cards do no good to a child who learns auditorily, unless of course they are reciting what it on the flash card. And making a kinesthetic learner sit while studying or doing homework is like hitting the off switch on their brain!

It sounds like a lot to know, but you really do not need a PhD. Two great books to start with are “The Organized Student”, by Donna Goldberg and “Every Child has a Thinking Style”, by Lanna Nakone.

Organizing is a life skill, not just for school. Inspiring this life-long skill in your children begins with a basic understanding of how they think and learn. To quote Maria Montessori “order is one of the needs of life, which, when it is satisfied, produces a real happiness”.

How to Recover from a Bad Business Decision

So you made a decision you regret. Hired the wrong person. Invested in a lemon. Trusted the untrustworthy. Lost money. Wasted time. And now you’re beating yourself up. We’ve all been there. In fact, if you haven’t been there, it’s probably because you’re not willing to take the risks that are necessary in business.

Just this week I heard from a client who invested $200 in a contractor who said he would optimize her website and improve her business ranking in Google. She’s frustrated and disappointed that she seems to have thrown that money down the drain. Another client tells me she spent $3,600 on a PR firm that was handling her social media for her business and she had to let them go because she spent more time managing them and cleaning up the mess they made, than she would have if she had done the work herself. And I recently hired a contractor who agreed to deliver a project in ten days for $1,600 and it’s now going on three months of excuses, delays and empty promises.

What’s a mompreneur to do?

Let it Go!

Well, the first thing is to let go of the frustration, anger and disappointment – it’s not helping the situation. Instead, let’s focus on the blessing and the lesson. My guess is that if you search deep enough, you’ll find a single lesson – a powerful truth – from the experience that God has placed on your path.

There are no mistakes, no coincidences. All events are blessings given to us to learn from.

- Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

Assess the Problem

Next, we need to figure out how we got into the situation in the first place. From my experience, small business owners and entrepreneurs tend to engage in five specific behaviors that lead to bad business decisions. So let’s take a look and learn from their mistakes (ok, so they’re my mistakes, too)!

Five sure-fire ways to get swindled, bamboozled or cheated in business:

1. Go for the lowest price. You’ve heard this before: free advice is worth exactly what you pay for it – nothing. The same holds true for choosing a product, service or vendor solely on the price point. Ask any volunteer coordinator and she’ll tell you that managing a team of unpaid workers is more of a challenge than managing a staff of highly paid professionals. If you really need a professional job done for your business, then hire a professional – and pay them what they are worth.

2. Hire a friend. If you’re hoping for a disaster, the next best thing to getting work for free is hiring a friend or family member. This is not to say you should never work with friends or family, but take an honest look and determine if there is a pattern of failure with this tactic. There are ways to protect your interests when hiring anyone – including a friend. Do you need a written contract perhaps?

3. Barter your services. OK, so I’m repeatedly guilty of this tactic but I seem to have found a way to make it work. My rule of thumb is that I never barter my services unless I would have purchased the other business owner’s product or service anyway. So I avoid agreeing to provide my services in exchange for something I may never want or use. (Consider this an open invitation for Starbucks to barter with me for copywriting services!)

4. Dig your head in the sand. There’s something to be said for developing your strengths and outsourcing your weaknesses, but we can’t afford to be entirely ignorant about what we’re purchasing. That means we need to understand enough about search engine optimization or website development to know what the contractor is going to deliver and how the process works. We need to know enough to ask the right questions. And if you don’t know – find someone you trust to help you understand the basics.

5. Play Mrs. Nice Guy. Women often have excellent intuitive and social skills, which work in our favor in business. We develop relationships, make people feel comfortable and we truly desire to help others. But we tend to be too nice, showing empathy and granting extensions and exemptions to employees and vendors. Sometimes it’s our compassion that leads to a nice big mess in business. This is my biggest downfall. This is where I let my feelings take over at the expense of my business. This is where I forgive and forgive and forgive (letting the resentment and frustration build up inside).

Proceed with Caution!

Now it’s time to set boundaries. Once you figure out your weakness (like hiring someone you know from church who promises to solve all your problems), then set up a structure in your business to protect your interests. Maybe it’s a contract or written agreement. Or perhaps it is a financial incentive for finishing the job on time or within budget. Be very clear about what you understand and agree to, as well as what the deliverables and deadlines are. Then put checkpoints in place to re-evaluate and reassess.

This is what it means to put on our “big girl panties” and act like the businesses owners we are! It’s not easy, and I certainly haven’t perfected it, but every time we stretch ourselves in the entrepreneurial role, we learn and grow. And if you truly believe that your business is part of God’s purpose for you, then he will equip you with the confidence and courage to lead and serve as he has called you to do.

Now it’s your turn: have you made a bad business decision that taught you a lesson? Share your insights with us!

Two Teens Mean War

I enjoy titles that make you wonder. Titles are the hook that our instant-gratification world provides for so many things. Back in the day when I worked as a television executive at ABC-TV, we would have title contests for the television movies we broadcast. The title of this column intentionally has the double meaning that mom and dad may be at war with each other and/or at war with one teen or the other.

Naturally, there are families with one or many more than two children. I would argue, without any empirical evidence, that the majority of American households average two children. Consequently, as that is my personal point-of-reference, I will stick with the two teens theme, though the applicability of the ideas discussed herein can certainly apply to homes with more than two children, or one child.

Teens are unique human beings. They were created by God to test parent’s patience, endurance, and fortitude. Teens believe they know everything, regardless of the constant contrary evidence. They also believe that parents have miraculously lost all common sense and wisdom, as well as any taste in music, clothes, television, or movies. I love Mark Twain’s quote, “When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. “

We’ve recently learned from brain research that the human brain doesn’t even fully develop in the frontal cortex until sometime in the mid-twenties! That is the part of the brain that gives us the wisdom to make good choices. So, our teens are working literally with only a partial brain, yet one they believe is more than complete.

Consequently, as I’m fond of saying, the job of the parent of a teen is simply to keep them alive. Forget trying to advise a teen on just about anything. Hopefully, earlier counsel and discipline, maybe even religious upbringing, will surface in the nascent teen brain at those especially vulnerable times. These may include driving, sexual opportunities and choices, drugs and drinking, and for boys, such dangerous activities as riding a skateboard off a 2-story building on a dare, while a friend is taking a video of it.

In our household, without revealing the gory details of my two teenager’s respective “growth” and “development,” the difficult times have alternated between them. That is the point of the title of this column. If a parent is fortunate, as my wife and I have been, only one teen is particularly difficult at any particular time.

The truly ironic and fun aspect of this alternating puberty and hormone induced insanity is that the teen that is acting relatively normal is on mom and dad’s side and shares dad and mom’s wonderment at their sibling’s unusual, maybe even demented, behavior. Dad and mom actually have a temporary ally. That lasts as soon as the next hair-brained idea pops in the sane teen’s head!

That is when nature inserts herself, and the roles reverse! Now, “Insane teen” has more or less returned to moderate sanity while “Normal teen” has been taken over by the hormonal frontal-lobe-deprived puberty-incensed monster. Those few times that both are “Normal” are gratefully relished while those times when both are “Insane” are an endurance contest for dad and mom.

Mom and dad may not be sure who is who, which is which! What and who is normal? Who and what are not? Dad and mom may even have a difference of opinion and start arguing with each other, taking sides as if it mattered! This is where “The War” of our title comes from. It’s “War” between the teens, it’s “War” between the parents, and it’s “War” for any who dare tread inside such a torn asunder homestead.

Hair will be lost. Sleep will be spotty and the dogs may even howl, not to mention the late-night phone calls that will undoubtedly interrupt what little sleep transpires. There may be visits at the door by uniformed men and women. Mom and dad will each have speed-dials to the family therapist and the high school counselors and vice-principals. In rare cases, there will be a bit more adult consumption of comforting food and drink, such as double martini’s and lots of fried food.

When you consider a blended family, with a step-mom or step-dad, you have now potentially created a totally combustible household. The honeymoon ends quickly in second marriages when confronted by the teen mind and behavior. This may be a contributing factor in the high failure rate of second marriages. Yes, second marriages fail on average 2/3 of the time.

As with just about all relationships in life and work, communication is the key to making them better, and in the case of raising teens, surviving altogether. Talk to each other, talk to your teens, interact, pay attention, and you may win the war.

Fear not; parent, for this too shall pass.

Scare the Ghosts and Cobwebs Out of Your Attic

Your attic makes an ideal space for storage. It’s the perfect “out-of-sight, out-of-mind” spot, a place where you can stack totes and boxes and old furniture that you no longer use so you can keep your main living space uncluttered, neatly organized, and stylishly presentable. You can hide all of your previous home decorating faux pas and “those used to be in style” clothes, and your guests will be none the wiser.

But eventually, like any space that is used for collecting and storing stuff, your attic needs to be cleaned and yes, organized! Your so-called skeletons can’t find sanctuary there forever, or your attic will soon be so full, you won’t be able to walk through it.

Fall is a good time to tackle an attic-organizing project. The weather is usually a bit cooler and you are probably in full seasonal transition anyway. There is no better time to start locating, somewhere amongst the cobwebs and dust bunnies, your fall and Halloween décor so you can dress up your home for the frightful upcoming holiday.

An attic organization project should start by clearing out items that you won’t use any more. Be honest! There are boxes upon boxes of “treasures” and pieces of furniture that have been in your attic for years, and you’ve never given them a second thought. Why let them hoard precious storage space? Some of them belong in the dumpster or recycling bin, but other items can still be put to good use. Carry these things to your car and feel good about donating them to a local shelter, Goodwill, Salvation Army, or another charity.

I know that may not be as easy as it sounds. Our material possessions make us feel secure and even emotionally connected to important people in our lives. But in reality, all of the hand-me-downs, gifts, and souvenirs are weighing down our minds, not just cluttering our attics. And if they are just packed away in your attic, you aren’t doing justice to those memories, anyway.

It’s easy to convince yourself that you may someday use these things, or that grandma would never forgive you for giving one of her cherished possessions away. However, when you make a conscious decision to fill your life with only items that you need or enjoy, you gain more space for new memories and experiences. Find a special way to honor the memory (shadow box, scrapbook, photo album, etc.) and gently give yourself permission to let go and not let your emotions be ruled material possessions.

With that big task accomplished, now it’s time to organize the items you do need to keep, such as holiday decorations, seasonal items (clothing, fans, dehumidifiers), special occasion items (a large roaster or elegant dinnerware), and kids’ clothing and shoes that can be handed down to younger siblings. For this, you need shelves, totes and labels!

These days, there are innovative containers and shelving systems for any item and any space. If you invest in these tools now, you’ll thank yourself later. You’ll know that items are safe and protected, and you’ll be able to create an organizing system that keeps your things visible and accessible. For example, look for acid-free tissues, boxes or wrappers if you have delicate items or valuables. For important documents, you’ll want a fireproof or fire-resistant box. Also consider if your items can withstand extreme temperatures, since most attics aren’t heated or cooled.

As you pack things away, take inventory. Designate a notebook or three-ring binder and keep a list of what’s inside each container. You might even take pictures and place them in your notebook to help you remember exactly what you have so you don’t have to go rummaging through totes. Not only will this keep you from buying duplicate items of things you already have, but you’ll have a full accounting of your possessions should a disaster strike. Your insurance company will be impressed if you can provide a detailed list of items in storage!

Finally, label everything! The more detailed, the better! Include a short description of what’s inside the container and even where/when it was or could be used. This not only helps you identify where things are, but it makes it easier to send a spouse or kid up to the attic to retrieve something you need.

With a clean and well-organized attic, there’s no place for ghosts and goblins to hide. When Halloween is over, you can simply pack away the costumes, witches, and jack-o-lanterns, stash the totes in the designated area for “Holiday Decorations”, and get out your Thanksgiving items for the next round of holiday preparations. After all, you’ll have less than 30 days to get ready for the big turkey dinner!

If all of this sounds like a task too big for one person, call us! Come To Order is offering 10% off any attic organizing project for the entire month of October. We’ll help take the “spooky” out of this job!

How to find Inspiration?

inspiration by Stress Release RemindersInspiration is all around. Recognizing opportunities and allowing yourself to perhaps fail, will be the only way to reach goals once believed as unachievable. One of my favorite quotes is by Thomas A. Edison, “If we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves.”

Lets face it, taking risks and exposing vulnerabilities can be terrifying. Many of our most inspirational people were once believed to be failures.

Did you know:

~Lucille Ball was dismissed from drama school and sent home with a note that read “wasting her time, she is too shy to put her best foot forward.”
~Michael Jordan was cut from the high school basketball team.
~Walt Disney was fired from a newspaper because he lacked imagination and had no original ideas.
~A teacher told Thomas Edison he was too stupid to learn anything, and he should go into a field where he might succeed by his pleasant personality.
Can you imagine if these icons gave up?

Sometimes we must experience defeat, in order to strive further then one expected of themself. It encourages passion and strength.

Joseph Joubert once said.” to teach is to learn twice.” In my life I have always wanted to help others, but not until I experienced stress and anxiety to extreme did I gain the strength to do so. While recovering I met so many others dealing with high levels of stress. It gave me great strength to share my story and teach the necessary steps I took to overcome daily stress build up. Stress Release Reminders teaches me daily by helping others and Joubert’s quote inspires me to keep moving forward.

For daily inspirational click here to visit Stress Release Reminders on Facebook and click “Like” at the top of page to get a once a day free motivational post on your Facebook wall.

Inspiration facts by KyaniHawaii. To watch Stress Release Reminder videos on Youtube find our channel at StressRReminders or click here.

Stress Release Reminders is a stress management technique that reminds you often each day to evaluate stress levels and lower damaging side effects.