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Building Your Child’s Self-Image

May 17, 2011 By

“If you want your children to improve, let them overhear the nice things you say about them to others.” ~Haim Ginott

child self esteem

As a child I was told, that being proud of myself and expressing my self-pride was not a proper behavior. It was conceited and flat-out rude. Now, as an adult I believe they were completely wrong to make me suppress my self-pride. As a parent, I am teaching my children that daily affirmations are an important habit to form.

After working with the Girl Scouts of America I have found that 4 out of 10 girls struggled with finding a true self quality they are proud of.  I asked each girl to tell me one thing they are proud of from the inside, and one thing they are proud of on the outside. Most girls were able to come up with strong qualities from the inside, like being a good friend, but struggled to see beauty on the outside.

While dealing with my own insecurities I developed a journal technique that is easy to use and allows me to go back and see my accomplishments. The repetition of the pages is perfect for children. It usually takes less than 5 minutes a day to insert a daily goal, daily affirmation, and allows users to reflect on their day to add a few positive highlights. Parents also find this technique helpful in discussing meaningful conversations. Asking your child “What is your affirmation today?” or “What is your goal today?” can give a parent a huge advantage into understanding their child’s world.

Companies have invested billions of dollars into advertising campaigns using subliminal therapy. Covergirl’s  slogan “The next generation of easy, breezy, beautiful is you, Covergirl” is a wonderful example on building self-esteem. They have researched affirmations and understand its importance and influence on positive self-image. Young minds commonly operate at the subconscious level, they strive on routine and the subconscious mind accepts commands without questioning. Affirming positive attributes daily can build a childs’ confidence level to the Nike slogan “Just Do It”.

Stress Release Reminder’s technique is a crucial tool in helping children build healthy habits. It reminds them to focus on their goals often each day, along with calming their stress level. Click here to find out more or email me at Kelly@StressReleaseReminders.com.

Find me on Facebook where I post once a day inspirational quotes, images, or stories. “Like it” and get motivated to live the best you!

Filed Under: Mom-Empowerment Tagged With: , , , , ,

Getting Healthy Takes Time – 3 Steps to Help You Make The Most of Your Time

May 17, 2011 By

The other day I was watching a segment on TV about face creams.  The spokeswoman was talking about the products and how each of them treated the different signs of aging.  For one product, she said that the most important ingredient was patience, because it might take time, up to a few months, to see any results.

Getting fit and healthy is the same, and one of the most important ingredients is patience. It takes time to see results. 

Ironically, people end up wasting a lot of time because they don’t manage their time wisely. They spend too much time doing one thing, not enough time doing important things or wasting time doing anything and everything but the right thing. When people feel as though their effort does not match their results, they give up. 
 

Here are 3 simple steps to help you make the most of your time.
 
Take more time to eat less. Eating right takes time. The whole process starts with grocery shopping. If you don’t shop well, you can’t expect to eat well. You have to prepare the food and do whatever it takes to make sure you have healthy food with you at all times. Packing lunches and snacks are a vital part of avoiding temptation. Paying closer attention to calories and portion sizes will also require some time but the payoff is tremendous.  
 
Take less time to exercise more.  Many people invest a lot of time in what they would call exercise, but it  is really just increased activity. Although activity is good for your health, it’s not as effective for weight loss. Many people are just going through the motions and wasting a lot of time doing minimal effort. I see people doing 60 minutes of cardio casually reading a magazine.  What a waste of 30 minutes.  If  they would do 30 minutes of intense (where it is tough to speak a sentence let alone read a magazine) cardio, the effect would be more dramatic, and they would see results quicker.   Really burn some calories by turning  up your cardio effort. If you do weights, train at a higher intensity with less rest in between. You don’t have to spend three hours at the gym everyday. Commit to one powerful half hour three to five days a week and make every minute count! The more quality time you invest, the greater the reward.
 
Take the time to make sure you are not wasting time. This is a biggie. People spend a lot of time and energy on things that don’t work. Fad diets, weight loss gimmicks, books and fitness magazines often lead you to believe weight loss can be easy. It’s our human nature to try the easy way first. In the end, we just waste a lot of time trying to avoid the inevitable. Other people struggle because they completely go it alone with no guidance at all. A person who is basically guessing their way through their fitness program is doomed. Don’t waste your time floundering around aimlessly. Invest a little time initially to get good information from a trainer, a doctor, a well respected web site, or even me. Diet and fitness work. If you take time to understand why and how it works, you’ll see results in plenty of time.

Filed Under: Health & Wellness Tagged With: , , , , , ,

Love is saying NO

April 19, 2011 By

yes-no-buttons

“No” is a powerful word and tool in parenting.  It is much more powerful than the easier said, “Yes!” The boomer generation of parents, myself included, may have raised the most spoiled generation of children in history. This has sadly occurred at an economic time when “spoiled” will not work for their betterment.

Do you remember the movie, “Love Story,” and the over-used, over-promoted, and overly hyped line from it - “Love is never having to say you’re sorry?”  I do, and I remember what a bad book and movie it was, though the almost forgotten Ali MacGraw was a boy’s dream girl as the star.  I think that promotional “line” is about the only enduring thing to come from that movie, which isn’t saying much.

In reality, love often means doing things that may not seem loving, especially as a parent. I’ve often said that being the best mom or dad you can be may not mean being your children’s best friend (see my column, “Best Friend or Best Parent”).  While I think the “Love Story” line is simply an early pre-age bit of nonsense, it does inspire the much better one that I’ve used as the title for this column, “Love is Saying NO.”

Why is “No” such an important word and tool for parents? Because it is how you teach your children not only right from wrong, but boundaries of society, relationships, and respect for authority.  The first authority most children experience is from their parents.  Dads and moms therefore truly have the first opportunity to lay a proper foundation for their children to grow up as responsible, independent adults.  And, it’s not by saying, “Yes.”

As with all “rules,” there are exceptions to any blanket statement, but let’s list a few examples of saying “No:”

  1. No, you may not have that cookie, candy bar, soda, dessert, fried food, fast food item, “fill in the blank,” because it’s not good for you.
  2. No, you may not speak to your mother (or father) like that.
  3. No, that language is not acceptable in this house.
  4. No, you cannot go to that PG-13 movie even though your other 12-year-old friends are allowed to go.
  5. No, I don’t care how old you are, I will not allow you to listen to that disgusting and inappropriate music, or see “that” movie even if you’re old enough to go to R-rated movies, etc.
  6. No, you have to eat your vegetables (ahhh, that one is a “classic”).
  7. No, you can’t stay home from school today because you haven’t prepared for that test, you don’t feel like it, you don’t want to see so-and-so, you are too tired from last night’s party, etc.
  8. No, a curfew is a curfew and you cannot stay out past 10:30 p.m., even if all your friends are allowed to do so.
  9. No, your boyfriend/girlfriend may not sleep over even if her parents say it’s okay.
  10. No, you can’t watch that television show on a school night. You know our rule, no television on school nights.
  11. No, you can’t drive my car.
  12. No, you don’t get your allowance because you didn’t do your chores.

I decided to stop at an even dozen in compiling this list as I realized how truly endless the job of saying “No” is for parents.  The list is and should be endless if you’re doing your job as the best mom or dad you can be.

Saying “Yes” to all the things our children want is just enabling them to not grow up, take responsibility, learn independence, and to be happy.

Happiness doesn’t come from having things handed to you near as much as it does when you earn it yourself.

Think about it.  Think about your achievements in life.  Remember all the way back to your school or college days.  When you busted yourself studying for an exam, or writing a school paper, and you did well and got a good grade, how did you feel?  If you cheated or plagiarized, would the feeling be near as good? These are examples of saying “No” to yourself, as you hopefully learned from hearing it when you needed to from your dad and mom.

There’s a huge difference between self-discipline and self-esteem. The latter has been completely subverted by our politically correct school system, for the most part, while the former is not “taught” much at all in mainstream education.  These are other reasons that mom and dad have to take the lead in making self-discipline second nature to our boys and girls.  It will only happen when you say, No.”

So, practice it.  Let it be second nature.  By disciplining yourself to discipline your children, you are indeed being the best dad or mom you can be and, ironically, you are better preparing your children for the realities of life that they will indeed face.

No, it won’t hurt.

Filed Under: A Dad's Point of View Tagged With: , , , , , ,