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Stress The Number One Killer?

February 17, 2012 By

The American Psychological association (APA) conducted a survey called Stress in America. It reports that stress is a serious health problem in the U.S. with the potential to become a public health crisis. Each year the number of individuals seeking treatment for stress related health issues is rising.

It is time Americans start admitting to stress as a public health crisis and start making the necessary life changes. The first step is to bring about awareness.

Breast Cancer has a pink ribbon, heart disease has a red dress, and diabetes has a winged symbol. If stress is the number one killer, then why is there not an awareness symbol for it? Just imagine what a reminder symbol could do for so many. If each time they saw this symbol; they stop for a moment, take a deep breath, relax muscle tension, and align themselves to their daily goal, it could greatly lower the statistics.

This is the vision for Stress Release Reminders and its logo. Stress Release Reminders is a stress management technique which reminds you often each day to; practice proper breathing technique, relax built up muscle tension, and have success with daily goal setting. It is a simple reminder technique using the calming logo as the reminder. Hundreds of users are praising its simplicity while enjoying the benefits of a more positive lifestyle.

Most people don’t even realize they are holding unhealthy levels of tension and stress. We all need stress in our lives. It is what motivates us to reach our goals. However, high levels of negative stress can be damaging, resulting in poor quality of life; physically and mentally. To be sure that your stress is not rising to unhealthy levels, you must take time to evaluate your stress and to lower the damaging side effects. The best way to achieve this is to simply slow down. It is a simple process, but according to the statistics, we just do not do it.

The best way to incorporate stress management into your daily schedule is to place small reminders throughout your day to remind yourself do it. After a month of doing the practice it becomes a habit.

Click Here to purchase easy to use reminders.
For more information about Stress Release Reminders visit our website at StressReleaseReminders.com or email me at Kelly@StressReleaseReminders.com.

Filed Under: Mom-Empowerment Tagged With: , , ,

Staying Sane Through the Holiday Rush

December 9, 2011 By

The holidays always seem to fly by. We’re so busy planning parties, decorating our homes, attending school concerts and church programs, preparing meals and goodies, going to family gathering after family gathering, purchasing last minute gifts (the list goes on and on…). Sometimes we, especially moms, forget to take time for ourselves. And without that time to relax, reflect, and just breathe, we may miss the significance of special moments that make wonderful holiday memories.

So, even as you selflessly work to make the holidays spectacular for everyone else, remember that the holidays are for you to enjoy too. Here are a few tips to follow to make sure that, even during the busiest times of the year, you are keeping your life in balance and taking care of yourself:

  1. Define your priorities. Decide what is most important for you and your family, and don’t let others tell you differently. Once you know what’s important in your life, it’s easier to know when to say yes and when to say no. There’s only so much time in the day…remember that saying “yes” to one activity is saying “no” to another.
  2. Know when you’re at your best. Morning people should schedule important tasks in the morning, while those who take a while to wake up and get going should use afternoons for their most demanding projects. When your energy is low, do things that don’t demand as much brainpower…fold laundry, scrub the bathroom, wrap gifts, address Christmas cards.
  3. Take a break. When you feel overworked and overloaded, refresh yourself with a 10 or 15-minute walk, devotion, or relaxing moment of complete silence.
  4. Assign household tasks to other family members. Kids can do laundry, dust, vacuum, set the table, take care of pets, and pick up after themselves, so enlist their help!
  5. Schedule time for yourself. Don’t feel guilty about taking time to do the things you love. This might seem a bit selfish, but the truth is, when you don’t take care of yourself, you burn out and everyone suffers. Give yourself permission to take a bubble bath, get a pedicure, go out to supper with friends, or see a movie in the middle of the afternoon.
  6. Make your health and happiness a priority. Even when life gets busy, commit to doing the daily things that make you feel your best. They might include activities like praying, reading a devotion, exercising, doing yoga, having a non-interrupted 15-minute conversation with your spouse, or snuggling with your kids at bedtime. Whatever those things are in your life, do them daily, without exception.

Get more tips on balancing all of your work and family responsibilities by reading “Work – Life Balance…Can you REALLY have it?” and “Are You Worn Out and Stressed?” If you already realize that you’ve got too much on your plate, check out “When Your Overcommitted” for some helpful advice.

Come To Order wishes you and your family a peaceful and enjoyable holiday season full of blessings. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

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Strategies to Neutralize Arguments with your Kids

November 29, 2011 By

Mom and son

Kids seem to be extremely adept at luring their parents into no-win arguments. They are determined and persistent when it comes to things they want (or don’t want) to have or buy or do. The more they carry on and push to get their way, the more we as adults feel like we have to dig in our heels and take a stand. We are the parents after all!

Well, as you’re surely aware, arguing leads to more arguing which leads to more arguing, and before you know it, you’re in a full blown yelling match, complete with ultimatums, tears, tantrums, and hurt feelings.

There’s a better solution, an approach that can help defuse the frustration and anger, and maybe, just maybe, leave your kids speechless!

Ok, maybe that’s too much to ask for, but with a few simple strategies, you can turn a potential argument into a civilized conversation that will result in calm, not chaos.

  1. First and foremost, stop! Before you lose control of your emotions, stop yourself from talking. If you aren’t talking then you can’t be yelling, threatening or losing control!
  2. Now, breathe & tell yourself and your child “no problem”. Take a deep breath! Then neutralize the anger you might be feeling by saying “no problem” out loud. It is the trigger to yourself that there is no need to allow this to escalate. It is also the trigger to your child that they have pushed too far and that there will be consequences for their poor decision.
  3. Give yourself permission to decide on a consequence later. So many parenting philosophies today suggest that a consequence or punishment must come immediately after the infraction – as if our children are not smart enough to link the two if time passes. Charles Fay of the Love & Logic Institute suggests that this is simply not true.
  4. Go dumb until you can think clearly of the appropriate consequence. I recommend this Love and Logic phrase, “I care about you too much to argue with you.” Even if your child continues to push buttons (“you don’t love me”, “my friends don’t have to do that”, “that is unfair”) you simply restate what you are willing to do…”I love you too much to argue with you”. When you kid sees that their strategy isn’t work they will eventually give up.

This strategy helps you keep (or regain) your composure and accept that you cannot control what others do. You can only control your own actions. Your child may continue to argue, cry, yell, and throw a fit, but by walking away to keep your cool, you’ve modeled a healthy way to handle conflict.

©2011, Kathy Jenkins, Come To Order

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Time Management Lowers Stress

June 28, 2011 By

Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. ~ Will Rogers
time-management

In today’s world we tend to overload our schedules and rush from one event to the next. Time management is an effective way to lower stress. Try taking a few minutes each hour to clear your thoughts. Take several relaxing deep breaths, shake out muscle tension, and align your actions to your daily goals.

Placing small reminders throughout your day will make this process a habit. Once the habit is formed you will notice; focus and concentration improvement, less sore muscle and tension pain, and goal achievement easier. Not to mention a positive mindset from the control you gain over stress.

If you find this technique beneficial, check out  Stress Release Reminders, it has become my passion to help others by reminding them to take control of their schedules.

Here is a list of helpful time management techniques to lower stress:

  • Set goals Daily goals, weekly goals, monthly goals, yearly goals, and lifetime goals should be pondered over and written down. Aligning yourself each day to move forward toward your lifetime goals will keep you on track & stress levels lowered. If we remind ourselves often of our goals, detours can be corrected quickly or if necessary changed to accommodate the new path. Check out Stress Release Reminders custom 5 minute journal technique for goal setting.
  • Learn to say “No” There is 24 hours in each day and this will never change. So when you have prioritized your time and do not have extra time, it is ok to say no. Once you have decided to say no, do not go back and second guess your decision.
  • Priorities your tasks Do not multi task. Focus on one task at a time so you do not have to go back and redo your work.
  • Delegate tasks to others Most people believe they are the only one who can do a job correctly. If you are thorough in your instructions than anyone can help you get your to do list done.
  • Start early finish early There is a great sense of pride when you complete a task early. So don’t put things off to the last-minute. Procrastination is an urgency that can be avoided.
  • Don’t compare yourself to others Comparing yourself to others will only cause stress. If the person is faster you will feel inferior. If the person is slower you will feel as if you are pulling the weight of the task. Either way it is a waste of your time and your stress.
  • Don’t sweat the small stuff Complications will happen while achieving goals or tasks. Remind yourself of the end result and focus on the most efficient way to the finish line.
Filed Under: Mom-Empowerment Tagged With: , , , ,

Doing Everything Right Isn’t Getting Me Results

June 19, 2011 By

woman-on-weight-scale
Several months ago one of my clients made the above statement in a fit of disgust. She actually felt that all of her efforts to lose weight weren’t working. When she told me what was going on I soon realized that she thought she was doing everything “right” but in reality she’d forgotten several of the basic things I’d shown her. What were those things? I’ll get to that in a minute.  First, let me paint the picture of this woman for you.

She’s a Mom Entrepreneur with a significant amount of stress in her life. She originally came to me to lose weight but after I heard her talk about her life and schedule I soon realized that there were some things that were contributing to why she was having a hard time losing weight. It was clear that she had a stressful and busy life.  A fairly optimistic person she was feeling beaten by the fact that she couldn’t lose the weight and reclaim her appearance.  She was embarrassed about her looks, not wanting anyone to see her body in pictures she’d only get pictures of her from the shoulder up.   Over the years, the once ten pounds she’d gain and lose turned into thirty-five and at age 41 her every other year diet program wasn’t working anymore. She counted points, added the fiber, drank the water but NO LUCK. She came to me telling me she wanted to try something new.

Our work began the usual way with her trying to make all of the recommended changes I’d suggested.  Within a week she’d emailed me to tell me that there was a shift in energy and optimism.  A month went by and the weight shifted for the better. She was thrilled! But then another month went by and my once happy, weight losing client hit a wall. Not just a wall in her weight but one in her life. She hit a plateau and began to panic and when we had our next session that’s when I realized what she’d forgotten. You see my theory is that the pace of our lives and the stress that we endure on a regular basis directly relates to our weight.  As soon as life gets too busy or stressful the time to devote to planning meals, cooking them and chewing what you eat occurs less often. You start making excuses to get exercise in, not drinking water or to go to bed at a regular time. Life gets in the way, the overwhelm of life disrupts the routine you were just establishing and the weight stops coming off. My client came to me feeling that her great efforts were slipping away. Although we’d covered it all before, I spent the entire next three sessions reminding her of the basic things to do to get her routine and life back in balance.  In doing the work I do I’ve come to realize that it’s got to be a whole life approach. You can’t just change one area (such as eating better) you often need to work on several at the same time. I often need to remind my clients that it’s about choices, not necessarily in what you’re eating but in what you are doing that is causing your overwhelm.

The great news for my client was once we got her back on the right path she reversed the minor weight gain and six months later she lost all thirty-five pounds.  The even better news is that she feels like she’s got a grip on her life again and to me I think you can deal with anything once you have optimism in your life again.

Have you ever hit a plateau and wondered if it could be more than just the food you were eating that was causing the plateau?

Filed Under: Health & Wellness Tagged With: , , , ,

Work – Life Balance…Can you REALLY have it?

May 9, 2011 By

work-life-balance

A long time ago, in a generation far, far away (OK, not so far) there used to be very clear boundaries between work and home. Remember Leave it to Beaver, I Love Lucy or Happy Days (now I have you guessing how old I am =). Dad came home when the sun was still out and never thought about work until he left the next morning.

The reality today is that in most families, both parents work and the job is far more demanding, as are the schedules we keep! Wikipedia states “Work–life balance is a broad concept including proper prioritizing between “work” (career and ambition) on one hand and “life” (health, pleasure, leisure, family and spiritual development) on the other.” Using that definition as a framework, creating, yet alone maintaining, a work-life balance seems so elusive. Truth is, it is attainable, but it takes identifying boundaries and then applying them in your life.

Where to start…begin by evaluating the rank of importance of yourself, relationships and work in your life. In America, we tend to “live to work” while most European countries “work to live”. These are very different attitudes and thus produce very different results in terms of work-life balance. If you find that your relationships are more important, but that work has taken over all of your time then try these things to try and get back in balance:

  • Track your time & create a “Need/Want” Square: For one week track how you spend your time, both work and personal activities. Categorize all of your activities in terms of “needing/not needing to do them” and “wanting/not wanting to do them” and then input them into a “Need/Want” Square. Now stop doing the things that appear in the “Don’t Need”/”Don’t Want” square!
Need/Want Need/Don’t Want
Don’t Need/Want Don’t Need/Don’t Want
  • Just Say “No”: Volunteering is an admirable thing, but when you volunteer to the detriment of yourself and your family, then it is time to stop. I used to be a volunteer addict, saying to myself “Oh that won’t take too long”. Then one night when I was furiously working past midnight to fulfill my commitments I realized how crazy it was. There will be a time in my life when I can volunteer more, just not right now – and that is OK!
  • Talk to your employer about options: Do you know for sure if your company offers flex hours, compressed workweeks, job sharing, or telecommuting? They may be options that are just not publicized. Take a moment to ask your boss or HR department. You may just find that they can work with you.
  • Leave work at work: When you walk out of the door of your office, do not to bring work home! Create boundaries, make those who work for and with you aware of them and then be firm in enforcing them. If you don’t, no one else will! Don’t answer e-mails, texts or phone calls that are work related when you have committed to be with your friends or family. The world use to revolve just nicely before the iPhone & Blackberry. I guarantee you that it will continue to do so if you choose to turn it off for a few hours to spend time with those you care about!
  • Get organized at home: Be organized at home so you don’t spend all of your free time grocery shopping, running errands, cleaning or doing laundry. It is true, that you capture more time if you are organized! If you need help here, give me a call. I have lots of great ideas and would be glad to help!
  • Create a support system: Do what you can and don’t be afraid to ask for help from co-workers, friends and family.Take care of yourself: How can you be good for anyone else if you aren’t even good to yourself. Eat healthy, exercise and get the right amount of sleep. Make sure you take time to do the things you enjoy so you can feel fulfilled personally.
  • Ask for outside help when you know you need it: Whether it means hiring a cleaning person, a professional organizer or a therapist, don’t try to do it all alone, especially if you know you need help.

Creating a work-life balance is a lot like organizing in that it is not just a one-time event, but a continually process. You have to be flexible to change as your personal and professional life changes. Take time to revisit your boundaries and priorities and make adjustments when you find that the scale has begun to tip too much to one side.

It is through this process that you will ultimately be able to achieve the best balance of work and life for you!

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Teaching Children How to Manage Stress

April 28, 2011 By

Stress Release Reminders

We sometimes forget how tough it is to be a kid. We look at our child’s life through our adult eyes. We tend to compare our adult difficulties to their more simpler yet still damaging stress.  Who is to say a women in the hospital fearing for her husband’s life is more stressful to her, then a child who is waiting in the class room to begin a grade passing test. We all experience stress, but learning at a young age, how to deal with it properly is one of the greatest gifts an adult can give to a child.

While developing my Stress Release Reminders technique, my daughter at the age of 6, asked me why I stuck  decals around the house & car. I told her they were reminders for mommy to relax, so that I would not yell so much.

This is how I explained the process:

  1. Take a deep breath – When we focus on a good deep breath. We are filling our minds with the proper oxygen we need to think more clearly, and it calms our nervous system.
  2. Relax and shake out muscle tension – Our bodies natural response to anxiety is tightening up our bodies. Clenching the jaw can lead to a headache. Tightening the shoulders can lead to neck & back pain. Clenching our fists or curling our toes can lead to pins & needle sensations or even bone disorders. Checking these areas & loosening them is crucial to our health.
  3. Center your thoughts to “What you want to accomplish most today” – Stressful situations will arise; this step will help you focus on the importance of the situation. If the thing causing stress does not get you closer to your goal, then let it go & move on.

Later the next week I noticed her looking at one of the decals and shaking out her hands. She told me she had a bad time on the bus and needed to calm herself down. She got it! She knew the importance of practicing the calming technique until it became an ingrained habit.

I think as an adult we believe that stress does not affect us, or we are simply too busy to take time out of our schedules.  We build a wall and believe we are untouchable. This is why stress is called the silent killer, because we become so accustomed to living in this state that it becomes our norm.

Teaching our children how to mange stress gives them confidence. Stress Release Reminders technique is an amazing way to help build healthy habits. I also designed a journal technique like no other. It is designed for people who wish to journal, but struggle to find the time to do it. The journal is perfect for children, because it is a fill in the blank technique. Children strive on repetition. They insert their daily goal, daily affirmation, & list just a few highlights from the day.

  • Goals, today’s children need goals & accomplishments to work for in order to stay focused to the positive.
  • Affirmations are crucial for children especially with bullying as predominant as it is. They must have the confidence in themselves to deal with today’s issues.
  • Lastly, how awesome for them to go back & see their accomplishments. This journal technique is meant to be a positive tool in achieving a healthier, happier life.

For less than the cost of a fillet at the Outback Steakhouse, you can empower your child NOW! - click here

Take advantage of free shipping when you purchase 3 or more Stress Management kits. Great for all the children in your life!

Stress Release Reminders

Filed Under: Mom-Empowerment Tagged With: , , ,

Meditate with Your Children: It’s as easy as 1-2-3

April 21, 2011 By

family-meditation

One path toward shifting your thoughts, particularly your judgmental or negative thoughts is through sustained non-judgmental attention or meditation. Meditation is the experience of sustaining one’s focus on a thought, word, sensation or sound in order to calm the mind.

Mindful meditation is the act of calming your mind and body through non-judgmental sustained attention.

If you are prone to rumination, negative thinking or catastrophizing, mindful meditation is a skill you may wish to explore. If you find that you are overwhelmed with work, life, people, finances or parenting cultivating a sense of peace, developing more neutral thoughts, and appreciating what you have in the moment will likely help decrease your experience of stress. Health benefits abound.

Let’s say you are ready to feel better, to think more positively and to feel less distressed. Begin by simply adding ten minutes of mindful meditation to your day. You can do it in the morning right when you wake up, in the evening before you go to sleep or anytime you feel fidgety, anxious, overwhelmed, sad, angry or depressed. Meditation can take place anywhere, in the mall, in the swimming pool, or in your car. You need not “go somewhere” to meditate. Meditate where ever you are.

Start with your “Beginner’s Mind” allowing yourself to relax into the experience as though you have never been in this moment before.

  1. Sit in an upright position with your ribs aligned over your hips and your shoulders aligned over your ribs. (I prefer to lie down, you can as well, if you wish)
  2. Close your eyes to reduce distraction and breathe.
  3. Breathe. 1-2-3 in, 1-2-3 out, in through your nose out through your nose or mouth.
  4. Bring your focus into your breath, feel your breath moving in and out, see your breath, color your breath, feel your breath oxygenate your blood and feed the cells of your body.
  5. When your mind wanders, in a relaxed manner bring your focus back to your breath.
  6. Feel your body relax, experience your minds reflections.

For children who are restless, consider having them lay with a warm blanket or a heating pad. Often the warmth and containment in space help them relax. Music from Stressfreekids.com is also a great help. In fact, I use their stories and sounds in my office regularly.

After about fifteen minutes you may slowly open your eyes and note how you feel refreshed and ready for what life has in store for you. Over time you may choose to extend your mindful moments. You may choose to meditate up to 45 minutes a day. You may choose to meditate or pay mindful attention when you grocery shop, pump gas, or talk with your neighbor. Feel the intimacy in your relationships grow as you give your conversational experiences with friends, your undivided mindful attention.

You may bring mindfulness into your parenting by increasing your undistracted, sustained attention with your children. Through mindfulness, you will naturally experience being more “present” with your children. You may lose your keys less often and even yell less, as your mindful experiences allow you to live more peacefully and non-judgmentally in the moment.

Peaceful moments to you.

For books and resources you may choose to visit The UCLA Semel Institute and The UCSD Center for Mindfulness.

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The Story on the Deep Tissue Massage

April 20, 2011 By

massage

“Deep tissue” might be the most misunderstood modality. Most clients that request deep tissue more than likely want a “very firm” Swedish massage. Deep tissue is more of a therapy and is used to release chronic muscle triggers (trigger points are areas of tenderness or “knots” that are pinpoint specific and often refer pain to other areas of your body) using VERY SLOW direct deep pressure with the grain of the muscle.  Oils and lotions are not commonly used for deep tissue as the gliding restricts the therapist ability to stay gripped or connected with the myofacial tissue beneath the skin.

Deep tissue modality very gradually eases the therapist fingers and possibly elbows into the deep myofacial tissues of your body allowing connective tissues to soften. Deep tissue focuses on very specific areas of concern and cannot be utilized over the entire body in one treatment. Many times our triggers start to form during emotionally stressful times, and when the trigger starts to unwind we experience an emotional release during or soon after a treatment. This is a good thing, let it go.

The “no pain, no gain” concept does not apply for this or any modality of massage. On a scale of 1-7 you should never experience discomfort above a five. If the goal is to allow the muscle to relax, pain will cause your muscles to constrict and not allow the therapist entry to the trigger. You will most likely experience some soreness during or right after the treatment but the relief of pain and tenderness from these trigger points can restore more comfortable movement and function throughout your entire body. It is imperative that you drink a lot of water after any massage.

Contraindications to receiving deep tissue massage:

  • Not in the area of a broken bone
  • Clients with peripheral neuropathy will not be able to properly judge depth and pain
  • Deep vein thrombosis (where there is a blood clot in the veins of the leg) if working on legs
  • Pregnant women, their body releases a hormone called relaxin, that causes ligaments and tendons to loosen up in preparation for delivery, and any deep tissue work could cause injury.
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Giving Multi-Tasking a Bad Name

March 31, 2011 By

multi-tasking mom

Just when I thought multi-tasking could be elevated to even higher levels of esteem, I am faced with some realities and distinctions of this efficient (or is it?) habit.

Turns out there are two different kinds of multi-tasking going on out there and they are not created equal.

So let’s create a few distinctions:

Level 1 multi-tasking: This is where you are doing two complete tasks concurrently, i.e. returning a phone call while emptying the dishwasher or making your daughter’s appt. for her annual checkup, while waiting for your car to get washed.  A couple of things get done at the same time and no one’s the wiser.  I’m all for it!
Level 2 multi-tasking: This is where you keep checking your email while you are supposed to be writing your company’s annual report or answering your phone when your daughter is in the middle of telling you about her day at school.  Level 2 results in nothing getting done well.   This is not efficient and therefore, not worth it.  Throw the bums out!

multi- tasking sign
And let’s throw two more concepts in – batching and first things first.

Batching is where you combine activities that are alike and do them all at the same time.  For example;  grocery shopping for the entire week, returning phone calls all at once and checking your email just once or twice during the day.

First Things First is exactly what you think it is.  Before you tackle the smaller incidental tasks that might be easier, make the hard phone call and get started on that day’s difficult project.
I’ve always been a fan of multi-tasking, and used that term as an umbrella for many different ways of getting things done.  But, now I think Level 1 multi-tasking with a bit of First Things First and a sprinkle of batching, is the recipe for me.

What’s your recipe?
•    Think of a time that you felt most efficient.  What are the tools you used?
•    How can you use those tools each day?  What would have to be different in your life to allow for that?
•    Can you make that happen?  If so, how?  When?

Cooking up some level 1 right now,

Jamee

Filed Under: Mom-Empowerment Tagged With: , , ,
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